Things you should not do once you put in your papers

Things you should not do once you put in your papers

 Courtesy – Clipart Library

Coming to office as usual, I checked my email for anything that might need my urgent action. My attention was caught by the words ‘Au Revoir‘, and I was curious to know who was leaving. As I opened the mail, I was surprised to know that it was from Raju, one of my dear colleagues, one who I used to meet every day and in fact, had met the earlier day at breakfast. We had exchanged niceties and then shared news about our families – he about his extended family in God’s Own Country, Kerala, and me about my only daughter.

It struck me very sharply that Raju had not said anything about his last day in office even when we had met in person. His mail was very nicely worded and knowing his weakness in English, it was evident that Raju had copy-pasted a lot of sentences from other farewell mails. Yet, he had been careful to share his phone number and email ID, leaving an option for us to keep in touch with him.

No matter how much - or from which angle - I reflect on this sort of behaviour, I realise most people take pride in keeping their exit a secret till the last minute and then send a farewell mail in a desperate bid to make everyone feel that they wish to be kept in touch with.

I request not to be misunderstood. I am not asking for details of the new job to be divulged, but there is nothing wrong in sharing that one is leaving, atleast a day or two before, if not much earlier. Secrecy breeds rumours which are avoidable. I am compelled to put down many more things that a person should not do once he puts in his papers.

Needless to say, these are not exhaustive and are purely based on my opinion.

1.   Do not talk irrelevant

Open offices are quite common these days and working in cubicles in an open office requires you to observe certain constraints, more so when you have decided to leave your current employer. You should not waste others’ time chatting loudly about irrelevant things, for you may have quit, but they still have work to do. It is wrong to waste others’ time and distract them when they are engrossed at work. Your relentless prattle is likely to disturb all around you.

Remember – It can be hard for them to correct you but should someone do it, it can be very embarrassing for you. Also, this time, when workload is probably less, can be utilised productively in catching up with people, something that you could not do before, for want of time.

2.   Do not compare

You have no business comparing circumstances at the current employer with the supposedly good times you are expecting at the new workplace. Be it remuneration, perks, job timing, benefits, or something else, all are different for different roles and responsibilities, and discussing them loosely is not a good thing to do.

Remember – There are good and not-so-good aspects to every job and the new workplace is no exception to this. Unhealthy comparison can end up injecting pessimism into the environment of the current workplace and that’s simply not done. Also, this is the place where you aspired to work in, before joining here.

3.   Do not shirk work

Do not just let go once you put in your papers. You may have handed over very well to your successor but it’s only fair that you work sincerely till the last day of your term with the current employer as you will be paid fairly anyway. It is your one last chance to show your integrity. Indulging in gossip, taking too many leaves, spending too much time in the cafeteria or at the coffee corner – all these smack of unprofessionalism.

Remember – People may or may not remember you for your achievements or capabilities, but they will surely not forget if you shirk your responsibilities in the last lap of your tenure here. This ‘free time’ can be made use of to connect with someone – perhaps your senior or manager – and learn from them something that can help in your next job.

4.   Do not avoid interactions

Do not avoid personal touch with your current colleagues, especially those that have helped you even once. Meet up with all you know, atleast from a few days to the last day. It’s not nice going away silently and then sending a ‘Farewell to all of you’ note saying ‘let’s keep in touch’ when you didn’t mean it anyway. I wonder how many will be willing to help Raju if he calls them for something, for he didn’t take time to meet them before he left his current workplace.

Remember – Contacts are just that – contacts. It doesn’t matter who it is. Smile, shake hands if suitable, say some memorable words, have lunch together, do whatever it takes to stay in the memory of the colleagues you are leaving, for as long as possible. It doesn’t take much for out of sight to become out of mind.

Published in LinkedIn on 31st December 2018

Instilling freshness into an existing job

Whatever job we take up, we do so out of choice. It is up to us to deliver it using all the resources we have at our disposal or find another job rather than complain about the very job we once desired to have.

On my commute from office to home in the Volvo bus, I saw two young ladies boarding the bus even as they were busy discussing their professional progress, annual appraisal, benefits of one job over the other, should they consider job-hopping and things like that. Suddenly, one remarked, “One shitty job is like another shitty job” leaving my mouth open. The girls were commuting in an AC bus, with a laptop hanging from their shoulders and an office tag from their necks, so it was obvious they worked in a swanky office of a software company of repute, one of many in that area. Yet, they called their job shitty.

I could not take my mind off their casual remark. When a person is unemployed or looking out for a job, the wish is to land a good job but once the job becomes routine, people begin to find excuses as to why it is boring, not to their taste, so on and so forth. They fail to realise that this job was the very one which they desired to have when they were jobless.

Nothing remains new forever. Whether it is a job, a relationship, a neighbourhood or something else, everything loses its sheen sooner or later. But it does not mean that it has to remain so. The good news is that each one of us has the capability of making pleasant change/s in the current situation to transform the mundane into meaningful or even magical.

The photograph I have posted on top of this article is an example of what I attempt to say. It is one of the many commonly seen carts of vendors selling roasted peanuts and this one was outside a mall. There were many other carts vying for attention of the visitors to the mall, but this young vendor had strived to make his cart stand out – and his job interesting – by creatively arranging the cones in which he would give the peanuts. Surely enough, only that cart drew my attention, none other. I liked the efforts he had taken to make his cart look attractive without any extra investment.

A resort that I recently visited allows its guests to get their pets along, so they don’t have to worry about leaving them behind, and hence thoroughly enjoy their stay and recommend it to others also. The resort also has its own pets so that people who love animals but can’t keep them at home for whatever reason can enjoy their company in the resort. If reviews on social media are anything to go by, the place is doing really well, but the icing on the cake is that the resort manager and his staff now have the pleasure of having new pets visit them every now and then so there is so much fun amidst work. It’s a win-win for the guests and the resort staff.   

One of my gardening friends persuaded his office administration to spare a small area around his office building and started a vegetable garden, which he and his colleagues tend to in their spare time. The produce is distributed on need basis. They say this is very therapeutic and a healthy way to break the monotony of a desk job.

Coming back to the ladies, they could take up something worthwhile to engage in – volunteering for the deprived, visiting a hospital with terminally ill patients, even learning something new – atleast once a week.

We often fix a date for everyone in the team or the department or the entire office, to come to work dressed in ethnic wear. A few of us have had potluck lunch sessions that invariably involved sharing of recipes and exchange of health trivia during and after the lunch. A senior executive used to distribute red roses to all women – even the housekeeping staff – on Valentine’s Day. Come February, everyone used to look forward to this single rose from the gentleman. All these are examples that even small initiatives infuse excitement into the atmosphere.

Instilling freshness into the ordinary does not have to burn a hole in the pocket, or take up all the time on hand. It all depends on the willingness for where there is a will there is a way. 

I have only suggested on how employees can help themselves. Organisations or workplaces have specific functions within the HR department to focus on things to do to keep employees engaged in their jobs, so that they do not feel frustrated with the drudgery of their work and look out for ‘interesting’ options elsewhere. That will be the subject matter of another article if not another book.

Published in LinkedIn on 4th December 2018

Those dangerous things

Photo taken by Yours truly :)

Driving back home from office one evening, I found myself behind this truck that was loaded with long wooden poles and wooden planks bearing nails in them, obviously being transferred to or from a construction site. What struck me was that it was veering through some very busy streets, without a cover or a door on its wares. There was no person to warn the other users of the road. Not even the customary red cloth hanging from a pole to indicate the potential danger that was contained in the truck.

I believe I drive safely, though fast if the road is free which it was on that day, till I reached this point. The truck was quite slow thanks to the weight, so initially I got close to the rear of the truck, honking a few times to alert the driver and hoping to overtake it once and for all, and go ahead. This, despite having observed all that was unsafe in front of me.

But once close to the truck, I realised I was in a danger zone because I drove a small car – any car would be small in comparison to the height of the truck – and any  moment, a pole or a plank could easily slip from the heap and break through my front glass and poke me very cruelly. With that revelation I slowly took my foot off the accelerator and deliberately allowed the truck to go away from me, so that I could be far from it. I could hear vehicles behind me honking seeing the distance I was giving the truck, even a two-wheeler with a woman and a little girl trying to overtake the truck, but I had decided to stay a good distance away for my own good.

Once home I sat myself on the bed and began reflecting on the evening’s ‘incident’ and what I could learn from it.

In this journey of life also we come across people of different characters, with varied attitudes and beliefs and from all walks of life. Some, blunt like the poles in the truck, seem harmless but can inflict unimaginable harm on unsuspecting others that cross their paths. Then there are others who are like the planks with the nails jutting out. Very contact with them can deflate our enthusiasm, discourage us or even hurt us deeply. They are best left to themselves unless interacting with them is unavoidable.

At times, we may feel like making an attempt to talk to people – like I did honking to the driver – into changing their ways, and not succeed when we actually do it. This is dangerous, for, we could get influenced – read affected - by them and lose ourselves to their way of thinking. Alternatively, we might consider ignoring the disturbance and going on our journey yet not very far from them. Yes, many a time, we need to be on the same road with others but with a totally different goal in mind. 

The most peaceful path however, is to steer clear of worthless, irrelevant, or negative influences, to ensure a peaceful state of mind which will then allow us to focus on our goal. There is no point in trying to change such others using the precious energy that we have.

This may seem a passive option to some, but when we leave out choices which can stress us and sap our energy, nothing can stop us from becoming stronger and achieving more than what we would have if we continued being foolishly aggressive and followed those dangerous things.

- Published in LinkedIn on 12th October 2018

Keep in REAL Touch

Do not send me a GM message or a GIF wish

I crave to hear a real caring voice

May not be always but atleast sometimes

Yet I know, it is your personal choice

Why forward news of an unknown person

Share yours however simple it may seem

Or ask for mine – it could be health, sickness

How your day went or about my favourite dream

I abhor the flowers on the small screen

They are lifeless images, and with no scent at all

Instead, let’s walk around my small garden

And create memories we can later recall

Don’t rely on that dumb gadget and the App

Call and ask - What’s up and how are you

Otherwise there will be no connect, no bonding

Relationships will become obscure and untrue

Come over and see me while I am alive

Not when I stop breathing and die

It’s just a matter of wanting to do it

‘No time’, ‘traffic’ and ‘long distance’ are mere alibi

The above is my heart’s cry to all

Not another mindless forward from me

Do read and reflect every now and then

Otherwise life will just go on meaninglessly

-  Really really affected by people’s attachment to things, and detachment from near and dear ones.

- 21st August 2018

Talking behind people's back

- Published in Deccan Herald on 10th April 2018

Mind Those Manners

I was in the 6^th standard of a Govt. school and in the middle of teaching the students, self-defence in times of unpleasant situations in and around home, especially as most of them had parents who worked as garment factory workers, housemaids and autorickshaw drivers, and therefore would be absent from home most of the time leaving the children alone. I took in some students to act as perpetrators to make it easy for me to demonstrate and for them to remember.

We were enacting a situation where a stranger had to touch me on my body and I had to quickly grab him by his arm and topple him to the ground. The boy did his act very well but before going back to his seat, came to me and said sorry. I asked for what and he said for touching me the way he did, although it was as per my instructions. That stands out in my memory, for the simple reason that the boy, all of 11 years of age, remembered his manners even though he didn’t have his parents around him all the time to remind him of them.

The behavior of the boy in the above incident seems obvious, but sadly it is not these days. The incident below illustrates what I am saying.

On a Monday morning, I sent a common message, over the messenger, to six of my colleagues – May the day go well with you, may something good come your way, have a good day. In response, two reverted as to why I had sent that. One enquired whether I was hinting at something pleasant that was going to happen in the latter part of the day. Another came to my seat and asked what the occasion was, whether I had mistaken it for his birthday and I leisurely clarified that I just did something beyond the usual – greeting and wishing another human being well. The rest two didn’t respond at all - not to this day. None of the six thanked me. Last Christmas, a group of us played the Secret Santa game where we needed to gift each other anonymously. Sensing that people did not take time to trace their giver, I disclosed the names a week later. To this day, not more than a handful from two dozen participants, thanked their giver for the gifts.

All of a sudden, it seems like insensitivity, indifference and self-centeredness have become the new normal. Not only do people put up with them, they are even justified as off-shoots of modern life.

Take the instance of this new recruit in the workplace. She was struggling to enter the corridor where her workstation is located but could not. She looked around and found me with the swiping card hanging by my neck. She asked me, ‘can you open the door with the card’ and I did as if in a stance, because I realized she, although from an elite management institute, didn’t even bother to say please – nor thanks after the door was swiped open. Wasn’t that impolite? Someone said, ‘she must have been in a hurry to complete some work.’

Many times, young executives get on to the city bus with a laptop hanging from the shoulder and a mobile phone in hand. They are so engrossed in talking on the phone that they are oblivious to those nearby - so much so that they stamp one person with their high heels and hit another with the huge and heavy laptop bag and don’t even turn around to say sorry. Again, we brush aside such incidents saying, ‘their high-tech jobs must be very stressful.’

It’s not that we take lightly our manners with outsiders or strangers or in unfamiliar surroundings thinking it won’t benefit us in any way. Many do this even within their own family and neighbourhood.

My neighbour visited her friend and the son opened the door. Without even inviting her in, the boy walked away to his room to catch up with some pending chores. My neighbour, who shared a good rapport with her friend, pointed it out to her but the mother remarked ‘teenagers are teenagers’ rather than acknowledge that the youngster needed to be corrected, leave alone call him and correct him right then.

People pursued success even in olden days but alongside believed in living responsibly. Now though, with our false perception of success, certain qualities like courtesy, humility, understanding and compassion have almost vanished like the proverbial horns from the head of an ass. And, that is very disturbing for a society that needs manners, to live amicably.

Being a person with a positive outlook, I am always on the lookout for the silver lining on the cloud and I do find it. I have found people mindful of manners, in unexpected circumstances like the boy who apologized to me in the school. I will always remember the BMTC conductor who thanked a passenger for the change which the latter gave him. And the regular customer who told the sweet vendor that the sweets were tasting really good and fresh on this particular day, accompanying it with a broad grin that said it all. Not to miss the guest at a wedding that I attended, who aimed the paper cup at the waste bin and then when it missed the bin, picked it up himself and threw it in the bin not waiting for the maid to do it.

I wish I could witness more incidents like the ones mentioned immediately above. All I can say is, thanks for people like them and let their tribe increase.

- Published in Daijiworld Online on 2nd June 2017

Bringing up Babies - all kinds

The other day I bumped into my schoolmate. After exchange of news over the years, she asked me, “how is your little baby?” I said, “Very cute” – which is what all mothers say – “and very smart.” Added that she doesn’t trouble me at all once she is fed, and keeps playing to herself, that she is a jewel and I treasure her. Suddenly, she interrupted me and said, “Oh shucks, I was supposed to ask this of my colleague. By the way, who were you talking about?” I said, “of course my baby, my little kitten who has just come of age.” 

My friend looked askance as she stared into my eyes – Are you crazy? Comparing a kitten with a human baby? As though my kitten was any less than a human baby, or rearing her any less challenging than bringing up an infant. That got me thinking on the various things that I experienced on the arrival of children of the four-legged kind into my home and life.

The neighbours – who would coo into any baby welcomingly – reacted in different ways. A few spoke in whispers about our new pet, some in joy at the little one, others advising their little ones to stay away as “it will bite you”.

I still remember the expenses I incurred on my pets’ vaccinations and medications, for which I could not claim reimbursement at office. A human baby could be put to sleep with a lullaby – even off-tune if you desire – but my kitten would have none of it, and took her own sweet time to learn to trust us not to hurt her if she cuddled beside us whenever she felt like it. What about the times I had lost sleep trying to get her to go to the bathroom to relieve herself, lest she dirtied our bed? Pet parents also have sleepless nights, but we don’t talk about them.

It is almost a done thing for small babies to howl in the night if they wish to, for any of the myriad excuses the elders have for it – nightmare, colic, loose motions with a new tooth and what not. But I was given a show-cause notice when our little puppy whined on the first few nights away from and remembering his playful siblings and mother.

As he was growing, my puppy had his share of health problems and was as helpless as a small child, if not more as he could not speak out his discomfort like a human child can. When he threw up on the bed I had to be patient till he recovered. I had to stay up, spoon feed him and be there for him, just like a mother would for her sick child. Recently at the vet’s, I saw another parent all tears when she showed the blood report of her little Persian cat asking what she could do to reduce the excessive WBC count. I remember how I had taken permission to leave office and reach home to help my daughter deal with the tantrums of my then teenager dachshund.

All through their short life with us, our four-legged children depend heavily on us and it is a pleasure catering to their needs for the unstinted loyalty and selfless love that they shower on us. We learn so much from them that it would not be wrong to say that they really bring us up not otherwise.

- Published in Deccan Herald on 14th June 2017 as 'Parenting four-legged babies'