A
colleague of mine returned to work from an unduly long sick leave. She had been
laid up for days together with severe backache and was still under treatment. Having
known her as a workaholic, I advised her to take it easy atleast for sometime.
Even as I was checking on the details of the treatment, I expected her to
repeat her earlier plea to a few of us – Pray for me. What she said instead
surprised me – “Please pray for my boss, for it is because of him that I have
this backache.”
I had no
words to say to her, for, it was clear that she had given over the
responsibility of her well-being to her boss.
My
favourite writer, the late Stephen Covey in his book ‘The Seven Habits of
Highly Effective People’ said Responsibility
can be split into Response-ability – the ability to choose our response, meaning
a proactive person chooses not to be controlled by outside situations and other
people; rather he takes charge of his response to outside stimulus
A famous
saying endorses this – If it is to be, it is up to me. I simply love this
statement for its profound message, for it gives me a feeling of being in control
over any situation through my response, irrespective of who or what else is
involved, as against one of being a victim of circumstances.
If only my
colleague accepted the eccentric behaviour of her boss (instead of expecting
him to change) and worked on herself, she would not be so stressed as to end up
with the notorious backache. In short, she would definitely need God or prayers
(read counseling or professional help) to strengthen her inside out to be able
to cope with seemingly inhuman behaviour of anyone around her, for the backache
was a manifestation of her unbridled stress. Yet, external help cannot help
those who are not willing to change themselves but choose to wait for others or
other things to change.
Lesson - A famous quote sums this up - Do
not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to MOVE your feet.
A
frequently circulated story doing the rounds on emails is about a carrot, an egg
and a coffee bean. When put in hot water, the carrot hard that it is, turns
soft. Reminds me of people who are generally quite courageous but a single
crisis crumbles them. The egg whose insides are soft ends up with a hard
inside. Just like soft loving folks who turn bitter and resentful for life in
response to an unexpected tragic event in their life. But the coffee bean goes
into the hot water and gets transformed at the same time turning the very hot
water into an aromatic coffee. Very few people lead a life both meaningful to
themselves and fruitful to others, despite being in difficult circumstances and
they do it because they choose to do so.
Lesson - Life is 10% what happens to us
and 90% how we react to it, a line by Dennis P. Kimbro, emphasizes it some more.
In the following photo that I
clicked on one of my birdwatching treks, I was
amazed at the resilience of this branch of a nearby banyan tree; it seemed determined
to grow even if it meant making its way through the rock. Needless to say, I
derive a lot of strength each time I see it, especially when I feel overwhelmed
by challenges.
Lesson - The
happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just
make the most of everything that comes along their way.
‘Bloom
wherever you are planted’ is the key to true joy in life. We all can do it. If
only we choose to.
(Published in Mangalorean in December 2012)
