It is Upto Us

A colleague of mine returned to work from an unduly long sick leave. She had been laid up for days together with severe backache and was still under treatment. Having known her as a workaholic, I advised her to take it easy atleast for sometime. Even as I was checking on the details of the treatment, I expected her to repeat her earlier plea to a few of us – Pray for me. What she said instead surprised me – “Please pray for my boss, for it is because of him that I have this backache.”

I had no words to say to her, for, it was clear that she had given over the responsibility of her well-being to her boss.

My favourite writer, the late Stephen Covey in his book ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ said Responsibility can be split into Response-ability – the ability to choose our response, meaning a proactive person chooses not to be controlled by outside situations and other people; rather he takes charge of his response to outside stimulus

A famous saying endorses this – If it is to be, it is up to me. I simply love this statement for its profound message, for it gives me a feeling of being in control over any situation through my response, irrespective of who or what else is involved, as against one of being a victim of circumstances.

If only my colleague accepted the eccentric behaviour of her boss (instead of expecting him to change) and worked on herself, she would not be so stressed as to end up with the notorious backache. In short, she would definitely need God or prayers (read counseling or professional help) to strengthen her inside out to be able to cope with seemingly inhuman behaviour of anyone around her, for the backache was a manifestation of her unbridled stress. Yet, external help cannot help those who are not willing to change themselves but choose to wait for others or other things to change.

Lesson - A famous quote sums this up - Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to MOVE your feet.

A frequently circulated story doing the rounds on emails is about a carrot, an egg and a coffee bean. When put in hot water, the carrot hard that it is, turns soft. Reminds me of people who are generally quite courageous but a single crisis crumbles them. The egg whose insides are soft ends up with a hard inside. Just like soft loving folks who turn bitter and resentful for life in response to an unexpected tragic event in their life. But the coffee bean goes into the hot water and gets transformed at the same time turning the very hot water into an aromatic coffee. Very few people lead a life both meaningful to themselves and fruitful to others, despite being in difficult circumstances and they do it because they choose to do so.

Lesson - Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it, a line by Dennis P. Kimbro, emphasizes it some more.

In the following photo that I clicked on one of my birdwatching treks, I was amazed at the resilience of this branch of a nearby banyan tree; it seemed determined to grow even if it meant making its way through the rock. Needless to say, I derive a lot of strength each time I see it, especially when I feel overwhelmed by challenges.

Lesson - The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

 

‘Bloom wherever you are planted’ is the key to true joy in life. We all can do it. If only we choose to.

(Published in Mangalorean in December 2012)