A Testing Time

It is that time of the year when both students and parents are likely to experience high levels of stress at the thought of the impending exams. It is a testing time – literally.

Students are not considered normal if they are relaxed, having fun, or even studying at home. On the contrary, the more number of tuition classes they attend – never mind how tired they may be both physically and mentally at the end of the whole rigmarole – the more studious they are supposed to be. As for the parents, it is a three-pronged ordeal – trying to understand and motivate their wards, convincing the teachers that their child is doing the best, and flowing with a demanding society.

Yet, parents being the closest to their children, must stand by them in this critical situation. Especially because they know their children better than anyone else. Understanding is the key word here. Let me elaborate.

Through the growing-up years, parents very well get an idea of the strengths and weaknesses of their children. A one-to-one talk in a relaxed and non-judgemental atmosphere, gives an opportunity for the child also to come up with what he likes and what he does not. Trained career counselors can help both the parents and the child in this matter. The idea is to help them discover their competencies and develop them rather than focus on what is absent.

The story of the animal school is very relevant here. The bird, squirrel, fish, rabbit and the dog were all in the school and were required to take all subjects. The bird was excellent in flying but bad at burrowing; the squirrel was great at tree climbing but was failing in swimming. The fish was great at swimming but could not get out of water to do anything else while the rabbit got excellent grades in burrowing but tree climbing was a problem for him. Soon the bird was too weak to fly, the squirrel slowed down in tree climbing and the rabbit could no longer burrow properly. The dog quit school as everybody despised his barking. The moral of the story is that undue concentration on what is absent will affect the existing strengths to the extent that none will be left very soon and the very joy of living is stolen away.

Given the rise of suicides before, during and after exams and results, amongst youngsters who give in to needless fear, anxiety and pressure, the parents would do very well to adopt a healthy attitude towards performance in studies, and discuss this with the school and together make life easier for the children.

All marks and no play make a dull child. Why not a few sparks of love, understanding and encouragement from parents and teachers to make a happier child?

(Published in MidDay in Mar 2009 under title 'Do you make the grade?')