Striking exceptions

I have often wondered how easily and thoughtlessly we generalize various events and behaviours to an entire species, organization, profession or even sex for that matter. No sooner somebody talks of some particular school exploiting parents by taking money in the guise of funds than everyone jumps to narrate their experiences of being fleeced of precious hard-earned money stressing “all schools do that”. We conveniently seem to forget several schools which rely totally on grants from philanthropists, and follow their mission to educate special children or children with special needs, without expecting any contribution from the parents.

There are several striking exceptions which have taught me not to generalize everything or everyone.

Most have had unpleasant experiences with rude conductors in BMTC buses. That is commonplace. Lately, in a heavily crowded bus, I witnessed the conductor standing firmly on the last step holding onto his bag and tickets with one hand and the handle across with the other hand, as if to block anyone from falling out. He was visibly exhausted with the day’s work and sweating, but concerned for the passengers’ safety. Even in his tiredness, he was smiling and cutting jokes to amuse all those around him. The smiling, helpful conductor still stands out in my memory as a wonderful exception in an otherwise unkind world.

Being a woman, I had always debated that women are very honest, less corrupt and are considerate to other women, and that men are corrupt and exploit the fair sex. There are exceptions here too. I recently watched as a woman conductor in a bus demanded the ticket she had issued to an old woman when the latter alighted and duly issued the same ticket to another person in full view of other passengers, pocketing the money without any hesitation. When I took an auto to reach the Kantheerava stadium for the September marathon, I was unable to pay the driver his exact due for want of small change. Still, the auto driver not only excused us in good spirits and took less than the meter reading but wished us success for the marathon. I no more believe that “all women are honest and all men are bad”.

Where there are superiors that harass their juniors, there are gentlemen (and ladies too) who mentor their subordinates like true well-meaning leaders. If there are corrupt politicians, there are a few very prominent, very capable statesmen whose achievements speak for them. May such exceptions increase.

Camp-complaining is but human and comes easily. But in place of generalizing, if we seek to acknowledge openly those who refuse to go with the flow and who stand apart by virtue of their benevolent deeds and character, we will soon have plenty of exceptions around us.

Published in Deccan Herald in Dec 2006